She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize