i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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