Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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