I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
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Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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