I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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