why didn't you poke me back
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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