I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize