I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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