Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize