I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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