Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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