i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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