i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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