do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize