you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You can't special order awesome
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize