I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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