I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize