i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize