Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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