you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
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Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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