Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize