I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
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