just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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