Cold hands, warm shart.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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