That's intense
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
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oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
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i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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