I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
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Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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