The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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