How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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