I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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