Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize