so that wasnt chicken after all
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize