No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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