he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize