Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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