My hand turned me down
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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