So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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