Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
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ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
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I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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