Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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