when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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