What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
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I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
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He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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