having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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