I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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