While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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