did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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