I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize