Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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