ugly people sure do ruin things
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize