porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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