And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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