doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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